


Not Like Before

by reigningqueenofwords



Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 15:36:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12609860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Summary: Steve is coming to terms with his feelings.





	Not Like Before

**Author's Note:**

> This was for a challenge on Tumblr. First posted on reigningqueenofwords.tumblr.com

Sitting in the little corner coffee shop, Steve’s blue eyes scanned the people on the street out of pure habit. “Refill, sir?” Came a smooth voice, making him look over.

He hadn’t even been aware that he’d nearly finished his hot black coffee. Smiling, he chuckled. “One more, why not?” He said kindly, not missing the blush on the young man’s cheeks. “And, it’s Steve, not sir.” Steve boldy flirted, putting him outside his comfort zone. If he were to be honest, the man standing at his table was part of the reason he kept coming here. There was just something about him.

“I’m Chris.” He introduced himself. “Nice to meet you, Steve.”

“You, too.” Steve said softly as Chris walked away from his table, back to the counter.

* * *

In bed that night, he couldn’t get that blue eyed, dark haired man from his thoughts. Years ago, before he was the super soldier, he’d buried any such thoughts about men. He was attracted to women, as he was told that he should be.

Yet, here he was, once again, fostering feelings for a male. It was something that he saw all the time in this new time, and yet, he couldn’t shake what he’d grown up with. It was ingrained in his mind.

Rolling to his side, he groaned with frustration. An actual battle was cake walk compared to the war in his mind. Steve closed his eyes, hoping for some peace, and some sleep.

* * *

_Holding Chris’s hand, the pair of them moved through Central Park. Chris smiled over at Steve, both of them ignoring their surroundings._

_Down from the sky came Tony in his Iron Man suit. As his feet touched down, he raised his mask. “Steve!” He barked. “There’s been an attack downtown. We need to go. Now.”_

_Worry filled Steve as he looked over at where his companion had been. Furrowing his brows, he looked around. The scenery changed from the peace and serenity of the park, to the chaos and terror of the streets of downtown New York City. His heart pounded in his chest as his name was being called elsewhere._

_Turning towards the voice, his feet carried him towards the rubble, his face paling as he saw Chris. His lower body was covered by fallen concrete._

* * *

Jerking awake, he rolled to his back, his eyes staring at the ceiling. A thin sheen of sweat covered his body, causing him to kick off his covers. “That’s it.” He sighed, running his hand over his face. “That has to be it.” He was simply afraid of Chris getting hurt. That had to be it.

His tired eyes slowly looked towards the glowing numbers on his alarm clock. It was alerting him to the fact that it was the time he usually got up and made his way to training. For the first time since he’d been awoken in this time, he felt the need to roll over and close his eyes again.

Sighing, he silenced the alarm and sat up. His eyes protested, but he pushed through it. He ran his hand over his face and forced himself up to start his day. Training, shower, breakfast, and then whatever the day held.

* * *

Chris yawned as he felt a shiver run down his spine. He was unlocking the doors to the little coffee shop to get the day started. He smiled softly to himself, hoping to see Steve again soon. Oh, he knew who he was- how did you live in New York and not know Captain America, but that’s not who he saw come in and order black coffee, sit and people watch, and just relax. He saw just another New Yorker living their life.

Once the doors were locked again behind him, he pulled off his black beanie and made his way towards the back. He’d started working this job as a goofy college kid, working, studying, and trying to make it. Now, he was the goofy twenty-seven year old manager who loved his job. Long hours, but he’d met some really interesting people along the way.

He was currently trying to convince the owner to put in a book nook and sell some books. They were iffy on the idea, and told them they’d get back to him. He was hopeful, however.

* * *

Walking from the training room, he was breathing heavily and covered in sweat. His muscles ached with every movement, as he’d pushed himself harder than usual that morning. His confusion was eating at him, but to ask the others about it was out of the question.

“Steve? Steve!” Nat caught up to him. “Are you okay? I’ve been calling your name since you finished training.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

He gave her a half smile. “Yeah, yeah.” He sighed. “Just some stuff on my mind. I’ll be fine.”

She gave him a sympathetic look. “You know if you ever need to talk, I’m here, right?”

“Thanks, Nat, but…I think for now, I need to work through this on my own.” He told her honestly. “But, that does mean a lot.” He assured her.

“No problem. Hopefully it works out for you. Whatever it is.” She smiled.

* * *

“Morning. I’ll be right with you!” Chris called over his shoulder, his back to the door as he worked on filling one of the machines.

“Take your time.” Steve smiled, a light pink tint on his cheeks. “I’ve got plenty.”

Chris felt the butterflies instantly as he chewed his lis lip. “There.” He sighed to himself before turning to face Steve. “Same as usual?” He chuckled, grabbing a mug, ready to make Steve his coffee.

After a moment, Steve shook his head. “You know what, no.” He chuckled at Chris’s shocked face. “How about we throw in a little cream and sugar in there?”

“Oh, you animal!” Chris laughed, the sound making Steve’s heart flutter. “Want to start off with one each?” He asked, his eyes on the mug as he poured the hot brown liquid in it.

“Sounds good.” He agreed, his eyes never leaving Chris’s profile.

* * *

Steve walked over to the counter, a nervous look on his face. “Is everything okay? Did you find a new coffee place? I’ll give you free coffee once a month to get you back.” Chris asked, half joking. Steve had been a regular for months now. And he’d been trying new things the past few weeks.

“Uh, no. This is still my coffee place.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was just wondering if…maybe…you’d like to hang out sometime?”

Chris’s face lit up as he smiled. “Yeah, I’d love that.” He agreed quickly.

“Just to be clear- I’m asking you on a date.” Steve pointed out, looking much like pre-serum Steve. Bashful and nervous. It was adorable.

“I know.” Chris assured him. “I’ll get you my number.”

* * *

Heading towards the doors of the tower, he couldn’t stop grinning. It was nearing nine, and he’d had his date with Chris that evening. It was fun trying to date without wearing something to hide who he was, while also trying not to wind up with his picture everywhere with headlines like ‘is Steve Rogers seeing someone new’, or in this case ‘is Steve Rogers gay?’. It was a date completely worth it, however.

“Well, someone looks happy.” Clint teased when he saw his friend. “What’s got that grin on your face?”

Steve chuckled. “It’s just been a good night, that’s all.” He told him. Before he told his friends about Chris, about him realizing (and accepting) that he was bisexual, and answering the questions that would come with it, Steve wanted this to himself. He wanted to get used to being okay with this side of himself, he wanted to introduce them to Chris as (hopefully) his boyfriend, and be prepared for whatever questions that would come out of their mouths- mainly Tony’s.

Clint chuckled. “Holding out on us?”

“Not for long, I hope.” Steve shrugged. “Night.”

“Night.” Clint gave him a small wave.

* * *

“Steve, calm down.” Chris watched his boyfriend pace from his spot on the couch.

Steve licked his lips and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m just torn.” He he pointed out for the billionth time in the past few minutes. “I-I…” Sighing, he allowed himself to be pulled to sit next to Chris. “I want more than anything to bring you home, to introduce to you to them, all that…stuff…”

Chris gave him a sad smile. “You’re scared. I get that.” He assured him, rubbing Steve’s back. Steve was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, and his head was hanging down. “I’ve been there.”

Looking over Steve’s pain was on his face. “This isn’t fair to you, though!”

“Steve, I’m okay.” Chris moved to lean his head on Steve’s shoulder. “I’m not going to force you to come out when you aren’t ready. Okay?”

Hearing the support in his boyfriend’s voice, he felt a weight lift. “I’m ready.” He said softly, making Chris look at him like he was insane. “I can feel it.” He grinned before kissing Chris gently.

“You’re shaking.” Chris pointed out.

“Never said I wasn’t scared.” Steve countered.

* * *

Sitting around the dining room table, no one was in the loop for Steve’s plan. They were eating, chatting, and laughing, which helped Steve’s courage. “So, I wanted to talk to you guys.” He spoke up, wiping his mouth off.

“What’s up?” Tony asked, looking towards the blonde.

Clint smirked. “I bet it’s a woman. The way he’s been grinning, staying out all night, and I’ve spotted a couple hickies…” He teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

Steve blushed, shaking his head. “Well, no.” He licked his lips. “First of all, I want to say that this has been weighing on me for…technically decades.” Steve started. “More so these past few months.” The others looked somewhere between worried, and confused. “I’m bisexual.” He said quickly.

“That’s…not what I was expecting.” Nat said honestly. “Is that what was bothering you that one day? That you said you wanted to work through things on your own or something?” She asked.

He gave her a small smile, and a nod. “Yeah. I mean, back in my day- it wasn’t talked about, it wasn’t accepted, really. So, I buried it way down. Never accepted it, never thought about it.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “What changed?”

His face lit up. “Chris.” He said happily. “He works at that little coffee shop I like.”

“I was wondering why all of a sudden you took cream and sugar in your coffee.” Nat chuckled, sipping her wine.

He blushed further. “Anyways, I’ve been seeing him the past few months.” He explained. “He didn’t push me to come out, or to tell you guys about him, but when he said he wouldn’t force me- I felt I was ready.”

Nat smiled. “You felt loved.” She mused, earning a nod. “When do we get to meet this coffee man?”

“Tonight, actually.” He said excitedly. “He’ll be over about eight. I wanted time between me telling you guys, and him getting here. Give everyone time to process things, and give Tony time to blurt out anything before Chris gets here.” He teased Tony.

Tony feigned shock. “Me?” He smirked.

Nat raised an eyebrow at him. “I can see the gears in your head turning.” She tossed a grape tomato from her salad at him with a laugh.

“To be fair, they’re always turning.” He countered. “However, Steve, just because neither of you can get pregnant, you still need to practice safe sex.” There was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “Wait, do you top, or do you bottom?”

Clint lost it, throwing his head back as he laughed. “Oh, this is great. You’ve just opened up a whole can of unused inappropriate content in Tony’s mind.” He pointed out.

Sighing, Steve didn’t answer, going back to his meal.

* * *

“Captain Rogers, there is a Mister Haynes here for you.” JARVIS announced as the team lounged in the living room. “Shall I send him up?”

Steve stood. “No, I’ll go meet him. Gives me time to warn him further about Tony’s mouth.” He chuckled, moving out of the room.  
  
Tony looked to the others. “ _ **Must**_ he ruin my fun?”

“Ease up, Tony, this was hard for him.” Nat pointed out.

“The Captain does not mock you for your sexual habits, does he?” Thor asked, not looking away from the movie. “Therefore, he deserves the same respect.”

* * *

Steve’s face lit up when he saw Chris standing there. “Hello, handsome.” He wrapped his arms around Chris, pulling him into a kiss.

“So, how’d it go?” Chris asked as their fingers laced together and they made their way towards the elevator.

“Better than I expected, honestly.” Steve told him. “Although, I believe Tony is hoarding an assortment of things to say.” He shrugged.

Chris laughed. “I’m not sure if I’m more nervous meeting my boyfriend’s best friends…or because I’m meeting the damn Avengers!” He admitted. “I hope they like me.”

Steve kissed Chris’s temple, keeping his arm around his shoulders. “They’ll love you…because I do.” He told him, butterflies in his stomach.

“I love you, too!” He said bashfully as the doors to the elevator opened. 

They walked towards the living room, Nat doing a double take. “Well, hello.” She smirked. “Good work, Steve!” They all came over to greet him, the grin never leaving Steve’s face.

 


End file.
